Why Blogs Suck, or The First Real Post

"So, how about those..."

This is a phrase used mostly in stand-up comedy. So why does it show up in some way or form on blogs? More ofthen than not, it's because THE AUTHOR IS NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE ORIGINAL. I know originality is difficult, but they could have picked an infinitely better style to copy. Stand-up comedy is just not that good! There are plenty of other formats that work just fine. That's why I've decided to show you a couple of the many different types of humor out there.

INCONGRUITY is funny. Let's say you have something normal, say a dinner party. Then, you introduce a completely ridiculous and inappropriate element, say, a meal disgusting to the point of vomiting (like McDonalds) or a giant fire that nobody seems to notice. You have created something funny. This even works with a phrase, like "affordable penguin" and "nuclear refrigerators".

An example from an episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus:

Chapman: Trouble at mill.
Cleveland: Oh no - what kind of trouble?
Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.
Cleveland: Pardon?
Chapman: One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treadle.
Cleveland: I don't understand what you're saying.
Chapman: [slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent] One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treadle.
Cleveland: Well what on earth does that mean?
Chapman: *I* don't know - Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.

[JARRING CHORD]

[The door flies open and Cardinal Ximinez of Spain [Palin] enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Biggles [Jones] has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Fang [Gilliam] is just Cardinal Fang]

Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

[The Inquisition exits]

STUPIDITY is funny. When someone is idiotic to the point of suffering of others, they are usually pretty funny. For example, pretend someone's boss told them that they needed to shred some papers, but the client interpreted this as trying to eat them, that's funny... BUT only if done the right way. The trick with this kind of funny is to make sure that the person's stupidity is enough that he does crazy things, but not so much that you can't identify it. The comic strip "Dilbert" pulls off this sort of humor rather well.

Anyway, as you see, humor is basically just rediculous ideas, and thus stand-up comedy goes a bit against this natural fact, and thus bloggers should STOP COPYING IT. PERIOD. So now, go off and either praise me or flame me. The truth is, I don't really care.